Derpy Hooves Job seeker
by R.O.TR
Summary: A sweet pony searches for her first proper job...but the accident prone pony also brings disaster with her...
1. Part I

Disclaimer: I do not own anything MLP related, that is property of Hasbro and co.

**Derpy Hooves Job seeker**

~A few years ago~

Down one of the less impressive side roads of Ponyville, away from the more colourfully decorated buildings stood a drab, mildly depressing building long painted a mud inspired shade of brown. Its crooked door, slightly out of line with the doorframe sat below a shiny looking sign- which was only the case because the old sign had split in half and had to be replaced. Inside the dullest building in all of Ponyville, in the drabbest and dampest smelling room sat a grey Pegasus pony with bubbles for a cutie mark, and a greying stallion.

"What's this?" asked Derpy, holding up the letter she had been sent, emblazoned across with red words as though an angry mare had gone postal with a stamp. She had found it slid under her door and had been slightly startled by the harsh language it contained- why would anypony want to send a letter like that?

"Derpy, I've told you this a thousand times before," said the Stallion burying his head in his hooves, narrowly avoiding a close encounter of the face and desk kind. "The money your parents gave you wasn't going to last forever. What have you been doing recently?"

"Yesterday I caught a cloud, and then I made it look like me!" said Derpy. She had ended up spending a lot of time standing around other ponies as the cloud lazily glided above, waiting to see if anypony would notice the resemblance. A couple of the young fillies had noticed and asked her about it- Derpy had found that fun _and _funny. One had even been a young Pegasus pony, curious about when she could start to fly.

"I see. But what about employment? The money your parents gave you when you came to Ponyville has run out, and that letter is not too charmingly telling you that you need to pay the rent soon."

"But I paid the rent last month mister," said Derpy. Not just paid, but paid completely, and sent in a nicely decorated envelope too.

"You have to pay it every month Derpy."

"Oh yeah- somepony told me that once!" Derpy could vaguely remember hearing that before. She must have got distracted, or just forgotten about it, but now the words seemed to ring clear in her head.

"I told you that," mumbled the Stallion as he pulled open one of the desk drawers and pulled out an uneven stack of paper. He placed them down on the desk, not bothering to arrange them- by the time Derpy was finished they'd be a mess again anyway.

"What's all that?" asked Derpy. "Are you writing a story?"

"No Derpy, these are a list of vacancies that I'm currently aware of- all the ponies come to me to advertise jobs," said the stallion with an air of imagined importance.

"So if I have the piece of paper I have bits?" asked Derpy. "I can't see any bits on the table."

"No Derpy, you take these, read them, go to the place advertising it and tell them you're looking for a job."

"Oh, I see," said Derpy. Go around and talk to everypony? That sounded fun. But she had never properly worked before. She had had those two weeks of work experience at a nearby café when she was still a school going pony, but that had ended after the building mysteriously caught fire. Derpy was always confused about that, the time of the fire almost seemed to coincide with the time she tried to get the grill to work to cook some unhealthy vegetables. Her teacher had used the words '_just a coincidence_' a lot after she'd returned from the work experience.

"So is there any particular area you're looking to work in?" asked the stallion.

"Ponyville!" cried out Derpy. She had been living here for so long now, she didn't want to leave now- she even had her own place now where she paid rent…

"No I mean what type of j- never mind, how about I just give you these and you go through them?" The sooner he had her out of his mane, the sooner it might stop greying.

"Sure thing, I'll read them all!" said Derpy standing up and grabbing the pile of paper with her mouth. "I don't det wu doon," she mumbled.

"Don't worry about letting me down, just go and find yourself a job Derpy," replied the stallion as Derpy finally left. She pushed the door shut with a back leg a bit too hard, promptly causing the door to slam, and the stallion's self portrait to fall to the floor.

"Hrmnblerg," he grumbled.

* * *

Derpy sat down outside the depressing building and kept hold of one piece of paper. She tucked the other sheets under a front hoof and laid the last piece of paper on the floor, concentrating hard as she read it.

"Rarity's Carousel Boutique," she said to herself. Rarity…was the job really that rare? She guessed she hadn't heard of any other boutiques in Ponyville. And yet there was something eating away at her brain- there was a pony named Rarity in town wasn't there? Who worked at the boutique right?

"Whoopsie," said Derpy to herself. Rarity wasn't the name of the job or the place, it was a pony. Oh boy that would have been an embarrassing mistake to make! Knowing it was just around the corner (and because it was the first vacancy she had read) Derpy decided to try the boutique first. Grabbing the rest of the papers, she waved goodbye to the stallion that stood at the window watching her, and returned to the more colourful part of Ponyville.

The sky above was a beautiful bright blue, with some tantalizing fluffy clouds hanging above, but she knew she had something to do first. The clouds could wait- she guessed a job would only last an hour or two a day right? She passed by a tree and the fancy looking building now stood in front of her. She marched up to the purple decorated door and gave one tap.

No answer.

"Maybe nopony is in," said Derpy to herself. She guessed she could try one more time, and promptly spent the next minute knocking on the door. Finally swung open:

"What? What is it?" asked the white Unicorn greeting her. "I need to have some time to get to the d-,"

It was then that she fully noticed the Pegasus pony standing in front of her, mane askew from her flying trip to see the stallion, eyes looking in slightly different directions, with sheets of paper hanging from her mouth.

"Can…I help you?" asked Rarity.

Derpy shook her head and promptly dropped the papers.

"With…what?" asked Rarity cautiously. "I'm afraid I'm too busy to do a mane styling."

"I'm here for bits!" said Derpy.

"Excuse me?"

"I was told I needed bits, so I needed a job, so they told me to come here because you have jobs and bits for me."

"Oh- so _you're _here about the job vacancy?" asked Rarity.

Derpy nodded her head again- hadn't she already explained all of that seconds earlier?

"So tell me darling, do you have much experience with the art of making dresses?" asked Rarity.

"No, but one of my toys had a dress when I was a filly…I ripped it," said Derpy. What did a carousel boutique do anyway?

"I see…do you have an eye for fabulosity? Do you have an eye for design, a talent to go beyond the humdrum?"

"I have two eyes."

"Do you have any experience with this type of job at all?"

Derpy shook her head: "But I don't mind learning."

Rarity was still for a moment, umming and erring to herself. While this grey pony before her might not have any major experience, sometimes the roughest diamond could be transformed into something to please Celestia herself. Perhaps fate had caused them to cross paths, a destiny to see them work together to produce stunning works of-

"Come in miss…"

"Derpy! Derpy Hooves."

"Come in miss Hooves," said Rarity.

"Call me Derpy!" she replied smiling. Nopony ever called her Hooves, that was the boring part of her name- in her opinion at least.

"Very well then, come in Miss Derpy, I will show you how to partake in the skill of creating masterpieces."

"I thought you made dresses here?"

"Ha, yes how amusing," replied Rarity who thought it was a joke as she led the newcomer inside.

"Wow," said Derpy seeing the interior of the boutique for the first time. She had never seen so many colours, so much fabric, so many shelves! Or a cat like that before, as a white cat lazily stepped by her to get to some water.

"Please darling, you can put that paper down now, you're here to learn," said Rarity. "Might I enquire as to what they are about?"

"Oh they're other job vacancies in case I don't like it here!" said Derpy without any sense of shame. She always liked to tell the truth and she was certain that Rarity, having made a vacancy too, would know what she was talking about.

"Oh. I see."

"What's the matter, you sound grumpy," said Derpy as she placed the piece of paper on the nearest table, narrowly avoiding stepping on the cat watching her with eyes of ill-intention.

"Oh it isn't anything Miss Derpy, shall we begin?"

"I'm ready when you are!"

"First we should start with the layout of the store," said Rarity as she led Derpy around the ground floor. "Over here is where the supplies are kept, here are the models and there is the sewing machine, and over here you will find more supplies. There is of course more, but you can learn that in time."

"Sure thing boss," said Derpy with a mild salute.

"Now could you be a dear and grab some of the pink and red fabric for me, I have a dress I should really be starting," said Rarity, turning her back to Derpy and stepping over to her drawing board.

"Sure thing," replied Derpy as Rarity started to draw out rough sketches of ideas.

She turned to face the area Rarity had designated the supplies area and trotted over with a beaming smile. Her first day of work, the first time she helped out her new boss! Her eyes raced over the different shades and colours of fabric in front of her, quickly spotting the collection of red shades.

"Will this do?" she asked after pulling one roll of fabric from the shelf.

"Of course darling, and the two shades of pink above them."

Derpy looked up- the pink fabric sat on the second from top shelf. She spun around, looking for some steps but found nothing. So she took to flying, the gust of wind accidentally dislodging some fancy looking lace. She hovered in front of the pink fabric and moved forward, before suddenly accidentally whacking the shelf with her wings.

"Uh-oh," she said as she heard a distinct cracking noise. She tried to hold it up, but fell with the fabric as the shelf collapsed. She landed on the floor with a whack, all the items of cloth landing on top of her.

"What, what is this?" asked Rarity as Derpy poked her head out.

"I just don't know what went wrong, I was going to grab it, and then everything fell," was Derpy's reply.

"Hmmm," said Rarity, eye twitching ever so slightly. "I'll take care of this mess. Tell me do you have any experience with sewing?"

Derpy had seen her mother use a sewing machine before- ten years ago: "Sure I do!"

"Well, as I'm running behind schedule, while I clear up this mess, why don't you sew together the fabric on top of the machine? Nothing fancy, I just need it to be sewn together."

"You've got it," said Derpy as she rushed over to the sewing machine.

Rarity lifted the shelf with her magic and groaned as she saw the split running through the middle of the wood. It was going to take a little more effort to fix that. Grumbling she lifted up the fabric and folded it all neatly, placing it in tidy piles.

"Miss Rarity I need help!"

She spun around to find Derpy sat at the sewing machine. Some of the material had been sewn together- but Derpy's mane had also got caught up in the machine, and she found her head currently being pulled more and more towards the needle.

"How did this happen?" asked Rarity removing Derpy's still moving hoof from the pedal.

"I'm not sure, I was just sitting here, and then I saw the rope had turned like my mane colour and then I realized it was my mane."

"Yarn dear, not rope."

"Am I going to be stuck here forever?"

"No of course not," said Rarity quickly freeing the worried pony.

"Did I do it wrong again?" asked Derpy.

"Well…yes I guess you could say that," said Rarity. "But I assume anypony could make a mistake on their first day, lets see what else I could find for you to do."

"You won't regret it!" exclaimed Derpy excitedly.


	2. Part II

Derpy peered over the second piece of paper in the pile she had been handed. Behind her was the loud dramatic sight of Rarity running around outside the Carousel boutique, crying as she tried to stop a giant ball of yarn from smashing into any other building. Shortly before that Rarity had informed Derpy that she would have to let the pony go, which deeply confused her as Rarity hadn't been holding her in the first place.

But she knew from the general reaction and destruction that that job just wasn't for her. Too many things to snap or tear or break some other way- and her head still ached from having her mane yanked. No, that job just wasn't for her at all. But the second job advertisement sounded interesting:

_Pegasus ponies only! Ponies required for cloud and general weather maintenance. Must be steady flyer, reliable, able to work individually and in teams and be available during holiday periods_.

That sounded perfect for her- she was a Pegasus pony, she liked to fly, and she was pretty sure she was reliable. And she didn't mind working through holidays, the next holiday was months away, so if she was working then that would mean she had kept the job which would be good.

She had played with clouds twice this week. Coupled with her enjoyment of flying, and the fact she found it fun to play…work with other ponies, she was now certain that this was the job for her. She had been so foolish to just go to the first job she had seen, just try for the vacancy at the top of the pile. She had to be more thoughtful, choose more carefully. And this was it…

* * *

"Three buildings struck by lightning, a thundercloud entering a home through an open window and a travelling circus tent blown away?" asked the supervisor loudly.

"It's my first day, I might not be good at everything straight away or something like that," said Derpy vaguely remembering what Rarity had said to her.

"First day? You've caused more damage than any other pony has managed in their first year!"

"I'm sorry," said Derpy bowing her head. He didn't have to get so angry with her- it wasn't as though she had meant for any of this to happen…it had just kind of happened. She had managed to stop the second thundercloud entering the same building, but the elderly owner hadn't been too impressed with that. And the tent, well she wasn't sure at all what had happened there.

"I'm sorry kid, I'm just a bit on edge at the moment, we've got an important rainfall scheduled soon," replied the supervisor.

"Oh. I bet that'd be bad if it ended up in a building."

"Yes. Yes it would."

"Are you letting me go even though you aren't holding me too?" asked Derpy. She guessed that was meant to be some kinder way of letting ponies know they wouldn't be getting a job- but it still made her feel bad. Now she had gone through two of the jobs the advisor stallion had given her, and hadn't kept either of them. And so far her four hours of work combined hadn't provided any bits for her to give to the pony with the red stamp.

"I'm afraid so, some ponies just…well they just aren't meant for the weather managing business. But you showed a knack for dealing with grumpy- er _customers _out there, and I've heard the Cake's shop has been looking for a new pony."

Derpy quickly read through the crumpled slips of paper she still carried. Finally she stopped on the second from bottom which mentioned the Cake family store.

"Hey it's in the pile, I can go do that one!" she said excitedly.

"You er, don't have to limit yourself like that- you can try for any job."

"But these jobs were chosen just for me;" said Derpy, "See they have _Give to Derpy Hooves _written on them!"

"Well, good luck at the store," said the supervisor.

"Thanks!" said Derpy, before running off, again ignoring that she could fly. As she vanished a fresh faced pony with a rainbow mane landed. She glanced around, just about holding in a laugh as she spoke:

"What's going on? I heard somepony managed to lose track of a thundercloud?"

* * *

"So, do you have much experience with cakes?" asked Mr Cake as he studied the pony sat in front of him- he was surprised how at ease a pony apparently looking for a job looked.

"Yeah, I sometimes eat them, and muffins and once I even made some muffins," said Derpy. Even though she had visited the bakery before, it still gave her a sense of wonder as she sat inside the bright and sweet smelling Sugarcube Corner. She had learnt some time ago the giant sweets and candy cane holding up the ceiling were in fact just for decoration and not actually sweets- the hard way. As a young filly the doctor who saw her was surprised she hadn't lost a front tooth or two.

"And do you have much experience with general cleaning- you know sweeping, washing, general floor safety?" asked the lanky pony adjusting his ill fitting hat.

"Oh sure, I'm the one who cleans at home because I'm the only one who lives at home," said Derpy. She failed to remember the severe lack of floor space found in some rooms at her house as a result of her simply being able to fly over the piles of miscellanea, constantly causing her to forget to clean up.

"And how about general cooking and cake making?"

"I'd like to make cakes."

Mr Cake briefly looked over at his recently married wife, waiting to see her reaction. She nodded quickly and then returned to the oven as Derpy turned to see what Mr Cake was looking at.

"I'd be glad to give you a trial today," he said, "Let's see how you do."

"Thank you Mr cakepony," said Derpy.

"And just think, if you get the job here you can get free cakes," said Mr Cake with a grin.

Derpy held up her hooves to her mouth: "Oh no Mr Cake, I'd never steal from you!"

"No that's not wh- how about we get started?"

"Sure thing."

* * *

"Well that's the basics, how about I leave you with this order while I go and sort out a delivery?" suggested Mr Cake. He was rushed off his hooves, and was certain Derpy could handle making and baking five small cakes.

Derpy gave a cute salute: "I won't let you down!"

He nodded and scampered off, leaving Derpy sat in front of the oven, the cookbook resting on the counter in front of her. She opened the book and focused on the instructions, brow furrowing as she made sure she read each step clearly.

She grabbed hold of the largest bowl she could find (she knew ponies liked cake, so bigger would be better) and set about adding the materials all in one go. Finally she got to one line that puzzled her for a moment, which she had to reread a few times. A generous helping of self raising flour. Well, she always liked to be generous, so what did that mean?

She stood deep in thought for a while, before rummaging through the cooking supplies and finding a bag of self raising flour. For fear of being seen as selfish, she undid the bag and promptly tipped all of the contents into the giant bowl she had managed to choose (not realizing the bowl was just for decoration).

Straining to lift the bowl she flew over to the oven and slid it inside, turning on the heat. She landed and took a step back, staring inside with a faint sense of wonder as the first cake she created for her new job took shape. This was going to be so fun!

* * *

_Did you see it the day Sugarcube Corner's interior turned into a giant cake?_ Would be a question many a pony would ask for quite a few months afterwards, memories even popping up several years on.

Mr Cake had returned to the kitchen just in time to see the oven door flip open, and Derpy be engulfed by a slow moving cake mix. Having never experienced (or even heard of) this type of thing before he had just stood in disbelief as the strange mixture started to swallow up the kitchen, and head for the entrance. Derpy had stuck her head up out of the mix, a pair of eyes sticking out from a strange gloop.

Though it had apparently tasted delicious, Derpy did not pass the trial.

With cake mix still stuck to her wings and tail Derpy slowly trudged her way along Ponyville, occasionally hearing fillies shouting about running to Sugarcube Corner to see the giant cake- school having just finished. She sighed to herself- she had even managed to lose almost all of her job vacancy advertisements too.

She came to a halt a safe distance from the cake shop and looked at what she had left- the advertisement for the Carousel Boutique. Well that wasn't any good- wait something was stuck underneath it! She peered at it, eyes studying the writing intently- one last job to try. She took a deep intake of breath, flicked the mix from her tail and tried to gather up one last smile- and promptly set off at a fast pace flying towards her final destination.

* * *

The pony adjusted her glasses as she paced around Derpy Hooves. Derpy kept her head low, not wanting to annoy the grumpy sounding pony.

"So you want a job here doing deliveries do you?" asked the pony. "You come here with no references, no past employment and expect a job?"

"I have worked at the Carousel Boutique and Sugarcube corner (today)" said Derpy.

"Well, that does not provide you with too much experience in this line of business, as I know the Cake family like to do deliveries themselves."

"I could try," said Derpy hopefully.

"Try? Our customers rely upon us. For business, to receive letters from loved ones, all manner of activities. I cannot depend upon somepony who merely wants to try. Why, what if I was to ask you to send a letter to Granny Gristle? Would you even know where to start?"

"Oh she lives along Bridle courseway doesn't she?" asked Derpy, "So I'd go there, knock on her door and say _'Hi Granny Gristle, I have a letter for you'_"

"What about Lucky Strike?"

"Oh he lives along Breeching Way so I'd go to his house and knock on his door and hand over the letter."

"What about Old Pony Buck?" asked the delivery manager, finding herself slightly curious.

"Oh, he doesn't like to answer the door, he prefers to have his mail left in the mail box he built himself- he told me about how he painted it when I saw him last week."

"Well…what if I were to ask you to deliver to Dressing Road?" she asked.

"Which one?" asked Derpy. "There's the road behind Sugarcube corner, and the road at the edge of the town."

"Hmm, you seem to know a lot more then many a pony I see come in here," said the manager, her tone lightening slightly.

"Oh I like to talk to everypony," said Derpy. "And go exploring!"

"We have been a bit short staffed recently," said the manager sitting behind her desk. "And a Pegasus pony would make deliveries to Cloudsdale…well possible. I could offer you a trial position I suppose, see how you perform."

A few minutes later Derpy was ready, messenger bag tightly held over her shoulder, as she doubled checked the address of the letters in front of her and then gently placed them back into the bag. No letters were getting bent or torn on her watch!

"I'm going now!" she said waving to the manager, who merely looked at the clock.

With a wide grin she took off, feeling the wind blow against her face and mane as she glided through the air, heading for her first destination. Knowing the destination of each letter, she little realized how soon she would manage to finish Ponyville's fastest every delivery run on a first day.

And with not a single complaint.

High above she continued with her journey, smiling as she set about delivering happiness in paper form to the ponies of the town she loved.


End file.
